Because I Fell In Love
by Lover-of-too-many-fandoms
Summary: нow тo ѕυrvιve тнe zoмвιe apocalypѕe вy вonnιe dιхon rυle #1 (тнe мoѕт ιмporтanт rυle тo вe ғollowed) wнaт ever yoυ do; don'т ғall ιn love.
1. Chapter 1

HOW TO SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE BY BONNIE DIXON  
RULE #1  
(The most important rule to be followed)  
Whatever you do; don't fall in love.

Rule #2  
Always have a gun full of ammo at all times.  
No ammo? You're screwed.

Rule #3  
When in doubt run, you'll thank yourself later.

Time for another run for supplies, it's Sunday morning, the day I write in my journal at least three new rules on how basically I survived so far in this hellhole of a world. The world went to shit about three years ago now, pretty sure at least. I've been keeping track of the days and I'm doing a decent job at it. At age thirteen, I was left to myself and now at sixteen I've learned to enjoy the peace and quiet. At the moment, I'm living in this nice upper middle class house in Georgia and I've been staying here safely for about a year now. The coolest feature about this house is that they have a pool which is secured by the fenced in yard from the damn zombies which is fun to swim in whenever I feel like it.

So, my typical non-Sunday day goes like this; I wake up in a huge comfy king sized bed only to get up and snipe the few zombies lurking outside of the house from the top window or roof. I haven't had to do this that often, only when a new herd of those suckers come in. Sure the sound brings them in from time to time but nothing I can't handle. My situation is probably the best it can get for it being the freaking zombie apocalypse though, so I can't complain about having to shoot them .

Anyways after a few kill shots to the head, I make my way downstairs to cook up whatever I can for breakfast. Some mornings I'll have cereal and other days I'll go without breakfast, what can I do about the food shortage after three years? After that, it varies between about five things. If I'm not out of batteries which I really try not to be, I'll watch all the DVDs on my portable DVD player I found throughout the years. It is literally a lifesaver from boredom as well as my portable CD player that I always take with me on runs to keep my spirits up.

If I'm not feeling like watching a movie or tv series, I'll read or write in my journal, coming up with new rules or just doodling in it. If all else fails and I'm feeling safe enough I'll go swimming in their inground pool. That fence was a lifesaver because the zombies never attack at it and even if they would I have enough ammo to shoot them since I've been searching and hoarding ammo all this time. There problem solved, no more creepy things lurking around while I try to relax.

Whelp, that's my day in a nutshell. Quite boring for anyone that were to record my life, but hey, watching 80's movies all day is a pretty nice day for me. It's way better than being attacked by a zombie which I risk happening on Sundays,, like right now.

Currently, I'm on my weekly run for food, drink, entertainment, and other necessities. Earlier before I left, I made sure to take my CD player, a gun with it fully loaded, and I would have had my knife if I didn't realize I forgot it halfway to the stores. I'll be fine, I've made it this far haven't I? I wouldn't have to go out every week if I only got food and drink but I'm really bad on setting my priorities for things considering I go to the bookstore and DVD/CD store first. What can I say? I love movies and music with all my heart, no zombie apocalypse is going to change that about me. So I traveled to both stores, which are only about a ten to fifteen minute walk from my house, and picked five new books and ten new CDs and DVDs. Honestly, I'm just slowly sweeping the whole place with both stores but I need to leave room for food or I'd take more every week. For food, I go to dollar stores and basically places close by the neighborhood that have canned and boxed foods. Today I scored a bunch of cereals, Scooby Doo fruits snacks which are like ambrosia to me during these times. Along with that, I also got some cookies, peanut butter, mixed nuts, pasta, and a few other things. All of it is pure carbs and sugar but that's all you need to survive. Also in those stores I try to find as much toilet paper and tampons or pads that I can. I really need to write a rule about that because you don't think about it before it's too late and that's never a fun time.

After filling up my backpack and switching CDs to Nirvana, I walked home jamming out, not having a care in world about what could happen to me right now. Nirvana did that to a person, just rock out and not give a crap. I sure as hell wish I could feel like this all the time.

I finally made it back to my "home" ready for nice swim but before that, I noticed that the door was open. Damn it, please don't tell me I just let zombies into my house. I don't want the smell everywhere. See my priorities are not straight, as you can tell but neither am I. Bi jokes gotta love them. Anyways, I didn't really want to waste bullets on these freaks, plus blood splatter everywhere, so for whatever reason I grabbed a frying pan. It was the first thing I saw once I entered through the kitchen and since I left my knife up in my bed there was no way I was getting that without running into them. This will work nicely, I hope.

As I slowly made my way through the house, I heard rumbling upstairs. Great, damn zombies near my bed most likely. I walked up the steps trying my best not to make the floor creak, getting a better grip on the frying pan. As I turned the corner, I wasn't thinking at all, I saw a figure and I swung, knocking out someone as they fell to the ground. Probably wasn't my best move but all things considered, it could have be a zombie and I would still be alive with my nifty frying pan.

"Oh shit, now you really did it Bonnie," I whispered to myself as a boy no older than fifteen laid there on the ground. He wore a blue flannel and some kind of sheriff's hat. I flipped him over so he was facing stomach up as I took the gun out of his holster unloaded it completely of ammo and placed it back where it belonged. "Please don't be dead. I'm not that strong to kill someone with a freaking frying pan," I started panicking, I've never killed anyone that wasn't already undead. Okay, that's a lie, but I've never killed someone without reason. I bent down next to him feeling for a pulse and luckily there was one. "Oh thank god," I sighed in relief letting him lay there while I grabbed my knife from my dresser. It's lucky I didn't have this or that boy would have taken a pretty stab to the head. As I walked back towards him, he finally came to and I guess once he regained his memory of what happened he quickly reached for his gun, stood up, and point it at me as I did the same with him. He doesn't know that I've unloaded it and if he dare pulls that trigger, why, I don't know what I'll do with him.

"Did you just hit me with a frying pan? Why?" He asked confusion as he looked me in the eyes with full intent, from the look on his face, that he would shoot me.

"Hell yeah I did, I thought you were a zombie and no way am I getting bit by one of those in my home," I replied still holding my gun up as he took a step towards me.

"You live here, all by yourself?" He questioned his eyes softened but he still held his gun up to me.

"Yeah, what's it to you? You're by yourself aren't you?"

"No, now how about we both put the guns down now. I don't want to hurt you. Put the gun down and we can talk. Name's Carl Grimes," he stated as he held up his hands and placed the gun on the table next to him.

"Alright, I'm glad we didn't have to actually waste bullets, plus I emptied yours so you weren't hurting me. Anyways, Bonnie Dixon nice to meet you," I smiled at the reaction on his face as he knew I have already outsmarted him.

Bonnie: 1

Carl: 0


	2. Chapter 2

Rule #4  
Frying Pans making excellent weapons against Zombies and humans.

Rule#5  
For all those people with periods, pads and tampons.  
Never forget or you will be shit out of luck.

Rule #6  
Don't ever hesitate to kill.  
It's not worth the chance of dying instead.

"What? You're a Dixon, as in Daryl Dixon?" Carl Grimes asked me, leaving both of us standing there shocked for a minute. Daryl... I haven't seen him in forever. I mean not since the apocalypse started at the very least.

"What the hell do you know about Daryl Dixon?" I asked still not sure what to think of this kid. He did after all break into my house ready to take whatever he pleased.

"He's been with our group since pretty much the beginning. I never knew he had a daughter, why wouldn't he tell us this?" Carl questioned himself completely unaware that wasn't even the case.

"Whoa buddy don't go jumping to conclusions there. Daryl doesn't have a kid alright. Heck, I doubt he's even had a girlfriend for as long as I've been alive. Sit down and I'll explain everything after you tell me what the hell you were doing in my house?" I stated giving him a slight push, guiding him to sit down on the couch as I stood there waiting for an answer from him. He looked up at me with a curious stare. I guess he was having trouble figuring me out. I don't even know who I am half the time to be honest with myself so I can only imagine what thought he has buzzing around that little head of his about me.

"Look, Bonnie, is it? I was just looking for some supplies. The place we were staying before got overrunned and our whole group got split up. I'm with my dad who's been unconscious for the whole day and I was just looking for something to eat. I didn't know anyone was still living here." He said calmly and I could tell he was stating the truth.

"Alright, I guess I can give you some of my food. I am after all sticking around with you, whether you like it or not." I told him going in the cupboard tossing him some canned foods. "Catch or get hit in the head." As I tossed them to him he still looked at me with curiosity.

"Why the hell are you staring at me? Do I look funny to you or something?" I questioned him because I felt like I was being judged even though I didn't even judge him for one second.

"No, not at all, it's just you actually remind me of Daryl. You sound just like him, it's weird that's all. I'm not judging you, Bonnie. Look, I really feel like we should talk the time to sit down, eat, and get to know more about each other. Like you said, you're coming with us since you know Daryl. I feel like that should be addressed first, who are you to Daryl if you're not his child?" Carl asked. What a sweet boy, it's a mystery how he hasn't been killed yet. The kind and weak die and the brutal and strong live on, alone in this world.

"Here catch, I hope you like orange soda because that's all there is." I tossed him the last can as I plopped down on the couch, sitting next to him as he opened the can and chugged it. "Whoa, so down there boy, I have plenty left." I laughed for the first time in who knows how long. The sound almost sounded foreign to me.

"Sorry about that, anyway you were going to tell me..." He started to say before he had to burp. "Excuse me, as I was saying, Daryl who is he to you?"

"I'm sorry, I'll answer that in a minute but that burp was weak you should be ashamed of that considering what you just chugged. I'll show you how the pro does it." I smiled opening a can of orange soda and taking a decent drink of it. For the perfect burp, you have to let it sit for a minute and then just blech and that's just what I did.

"Fine, you're right. You are the pro, I could not top that if I tried." He said as I got a small laugh out of him. I like this kid, anyone that I can joke around with especially during these times is fine by me.

"Alright, now to actually answer some of your questions. How about we go back forth until all questions are answer? Sound like a plan?" I asked and he gave me a slight nod. "Now, I ain't too sure if you know my ass of father Merle Dixon but that would make Daryl my Uncle." I finally clarified to him.

"That makes sense. Look, you have the right to know that Merle died about a year back. He got shot through the heart and Daryl had to shoot him to put him down for good." Carl confessed to me and he probably didn't expect my reaction to be as joyous as it was.

"Thank you Jesus, I've been hoping my old man was dead, he did nothing for me. I'm honestly just one of his sperm. He meant nothing to me at all. Carl Grimes, you just made my day, bless you. Anyways, other than Merle, I had my mom who died with the first group of zombie outbreaks, I'm over it. It happened years ago and I've been on my own since. It's been pretty lonely but also peaceful. Sure it would have been nice to have my mother still around and Daryl with me but at least Daryl and I can see each other again. I want to hear about you now, you said you were with your father." I rambled. My mom didn't really care all the much for me either, she thought I was a screw up but hey I still loved her more than Merle.

"That had to of suck out here all by yourself for three years. As much as my dad still treats me like I child, he loves me and I love him. Other than my dad, it's just Judith..." He paused as he stared down at the ground.

"Hey, you alright buddy? Who's Judith?" I asked him moving closer to him placing a hand on his back for comfort, he looked like he was going to start bawling his eyes out and I don't do well with crybabies.

"Yeah sorry, um she's my sister and before we had to leave we couldn't find her and we don't have any clue where she is or if she's even alive. She's barely a year old. My mom had her and she ended up dying and I had to shoot her. Why am I telling you all this? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put all the weight on you." He sighed as he sat back looking up at the ceiling. "I don't know how you've been on your own for so long. I would lose it not having anyone. Literally, if anything happens to my dad, I'm forever alone." He was just as broken as me. Isn't everyone nowadays though?

"Hey, look here boy, you ain't going to be alone. You've got me don't you? You're an okay kid, Carl Grimes. Don't worry, I won't leave you." I told him trying to raise his spirits a bit. "Just one thing, you need to promise me this alright?"

"Yeah, what is it? The two of us have to stick together if you want to find your Uncle and all." Carl trusted me and that was good considering we just had guns pointed at each other about ten minutes ago, I think we've made some major progress here.

"Don't fall in love with me. Fall in with me and we'll both die." I told him and it kind of shocked him. "Sure, we'll protect each other but I don't want my thoughts getting cloudy because of your cute face. Just don't even think about letting it happen to you because I sure as hell won't. I'm not risking my life for anyone."

"Sounds fair enough, I promise I won't fall in love with you Bonnie Dixon. Care to shake on it?" He smiled and I was so glad he understood what I was thinking.

"Yes, we'll stick together. Fight off every damn zombie we can. We'll survive this together." I stated as we shook hands. I'm finally not alone and I'm hoping to never be that way again.


	3. Chapter 3

Rule # 7

Keep your promises, always

Rule #8

Just cause you think the boy sitting next to while you're writing this rule down is cute, don't fall in love with him or his beautiful blue eyes

Rule #9

Shit, don't let said boy see you writing stuff in your journal about him

"You think I'm cute huh? With my beautiful blue eyes, right Bonnie?" He teased as we were sitting together on a couch eating some snacks as I punched him in the gut.

"Watch it Grimes, just because you know my Uncle doesn't mean I won't shoot you later on," I threatened as he dismissed what I said, not believing it one bit.

The two of us have just been spending the past two hour together talking about our families and he didn't seem to be in a hurry to get back to his father since he was passed out for who knows how long. So Carl Grimes and I just talked and talked and talked some more. Our personalities were very polar opposite but we shared some of the same interests that all teenagers do. Music, books, movies, comics, all that sweet entertainment. So as we were talking I turned on my CD player and we listen to some good old Queen.

"Okay, I have a question. It's sorta of regarding your journal. Why are you so persistent on not falling in love with me? I mean what's so wrong with liking someone like me?" He questioned and I sighed knowing I had an huge explanation to give him.

"You see the thing is, if there's one thing I've learned in three years by myself, is to not fall in love. Period, it's not even directed at you. I can't let myself fall in love with anyone. That's what gets people killed. Think about it, what killed your mom? Love because she got pregnant out of love and died that way. Or take my mother for example, she saved me at the start of this godforsaken apocalypse. She died and I survived. Why? Because she loved me. When you love someone, you lose sense of your own life. I'm not about to give up my life because my hormones think I'm in love with some dumb boy."

"Hey, being that I'm the boy you're talking about, I take offense to that," Carl retorted as I rolled my eyes.

"Oh shut up…" I stated pushing him away from me a bit, jokingly.

"I see what you mean though. A horrible way to look at it but it makes sense. Who knows, I might just change your mind on your views."

"The hell you will, come on, get up. I think we've sat on our asses long enough. Let's head back to your father and get the hell out of this neighborhood. I just got to pack some things up first. Grab all the food you can that's in the pantry. There's more orange soda if you want to take it all for the trip." I told him as I ran upstairs grabbing my biggest duffle bag that I could find. Screw packing light, I'm taking all the shit I own.

I rolled up almost all my clothes into tight balls which I learned a way to make it take up the least amount of space. Once all my clothes were packed, I packed the necessities for cleanliness, tampons, pads, toothpaste, deodorant, all that good stuff that's hard to come by nowadays.

After that I made sure to pack all things that really mattered, like my music, books and movies, along with my DVD and CD players. As well as batteries, pencils, my journal, and random shit I wasn't ready to part with. Oh and don't forget my precious sniper rifle and other guns I found in my journeys. My sniper is my favorite, my little child out all my guns. Sue me, I love my gun.

Anyways, once I was done with the packing that took all but fifteen minutes to do, I did a quick sweep of the house and grabbed my duffle bag ready to head out whenever Carl was ready.

"Got all the food I can carry and fit in your bag. Hopefully we'll meet up with the group soon. Ready to head back to where I left my dad?" He asked me and I nodded picking up all my stuff as I headed towards the door.

"Ladies first," I joked letting him walk ahead of me as I shut the door behind me. "Goodbye old friend. Hello adventure," I mumbled under my breath as Carl lead the way to his father. It was getting to be night time as Carl and I approached a house and he led me to the back.

"We secured the front door, if my dad still hasn't come to by tomorrow morning I'm not sure what we're going to do." Carl explained to me earlier what was going on with him and along with this whole backstory of his adventures since the zombie apocalypse. "Dad!" He called out as we walked inside the house. There wasn't an answer.

"Guess he still hasn't come to then?" I asked him and he nodded as we approached, the would have been the living room where his father was laying on the couch completely passed out. "You check for a pulse?" He nodded once again as I walked over to him checking again. Yep, he was still kicking it, I don't know for how much longer but he ain't dead yet.

"We'll just wait out the night I guess. I don't know about you but I'm exhausted," Carl yawned as he sat on the floor his back against the couch his father was sitting on.

"Wanna fall asleep to a good old movie? I've got the sappy romantic, action packed, slapstick shitty comedies, anything that's a DVD we can watch," I explained to him as I pulled out my DVD player but he shook his head.

"I'm good, do you just want to talk for a bit? I feel like I've told you so much about myself and I don't have a clue about your life other than you're Daryl's niece."

"Whatchu want to know?" I asked him as I sat next to him stretching out my legs.

"Doesn't matter whatever you're willing to tell me. Like that journal? I'm guessing you recently started it. What's it for?" He asked as he pointed to my duffle bag and I had already taken it out and placed it on top of the bag for easy access, along with my gun.

"I don't know, I just started it like a week back. I figured I've lived three goddamn years by myself in this hell hole of world and I've survived just fine, so I might as well as write some rules down about how I've done it. Basically, I'm a badass Anne Frank in the zombie apocalypse. When I die, I want to be remember and what better than the way I've survived," I told him and he just smiled at me.

"That's so sweet and didn't seem like something you'd do," he responded and I rolled my eyes.

"Shows that you know shit about who I am, now go to sleep you dork. Great first day with you Carl Grimes."

"You too Bonnie Dixon," he replied as I got up, heading upstairs to find a bed to sleep in.

"You know it, I'm amazing after all." I shouted and with that I found a bed and went to sleep for the night. I trusted Carl to keep watch downstairs. Weird never did I think I could trust someone so quickly, but here I am. Maybe Carl Grimes might actually bring something special out in me. Love? Hell no but something much more special.

A quarter past who knows when, I was awoken from my sleep to a very soft whimper. I was an extremely light sleeper since I forced myself to be over the past couple of years. You can't be knocked out cold from exhaustion 'cause one of those things could sneak into your house and that's the end of little ol' you.

"I can't…" I heard Carl cry out as I rushed down the stairs grabbing a knife that I left on the night stand. He was just sitting there looking so defeated.

"What's wrong?" I called out to him running towards him as his father was on the ground with him, his hand on Carl's leg. He can't be one of them.

"Carl…" He croaked out and I sighed in relief as Carl did the same. Not a zombie, yet. "Don't go outside, stay safe," his father mumbled as he collapsed on the floor. Carl looked to me in distress and I didn't know what to do. His father was still breathing but Carl was broken.

"Bonnie, I don't know what to do. I'm scared… I'm scared," he expressed to me as I kneeled down to him pulling him in for a hug.

"Hey, he ain't dead yet. He'll be fine, I promise. Go on upstairs, I'll be up and we'll keep the door locked. Give him the night, hopefully he's okay but if he turns I'll help you put him down," I explained to him as he nodded. "Grab your gun and go."

He did as he was told as I propped a pillow under Rick's head and headed upstairs with my gun in hand. I walked back into the bedroom locking the door behind me as Carl was already under the covers sniffling.

"Do you really think he's going to be okay?" Carl asked me as I hopped in the other side of the bed completely unaffected about the lack of personal space and Carl was clearly too distressed to give a shit about being in bed with a chick.

"I ain't gonna lie to you. I don't have a clue. Be hopeful though, I mean that's all you can really count on these days. If we gotta put him down, I'll be by your side. I'm not going anywhere Carl Grimes."

"Good, thank you Bonnie."


	4. Chapter 4

Rule #10

Don't make promises you can't keep

Rule #11

Always be alert when sleeping

Rule #12

Sticking with someone can make all the difference in the world

"Bonnie, wake up. He's alright!" Carl announced shaking me awake and I grabbed onto his arm tightly.

"Hey never again will you shake me awake, okay? I'll let you off easy this time, next time I'm breaking your arm. You should know I am not nor ever will be a morning person," I threatened him, not realizing how brash thought sounded but like I just said I am not a sunshine of happiness when the sun is still rising.

"Point noted, sorry about that," he apologized as I got out of bed patting him on the shoulder as I walked by him heading downstairs.

"It's alright, now come on. I want to meet the man of the hour," I told him grabbing his hand as I guided him downstairs and we met up with Rick.

"Dad this is Bonnie Dixon. She's Daryl's niece. I told her that she could come along with us wherever we plan on going and hopefully we meet up with Daryl again. I know the odds of that are slim to none but you know he'd want you looking after her," Carl told him and I didn't like the way he phrased that.

"I can handle myself just fine. I don't need help from anyone. I'm just looking for some companionship, not someone to help me survive cause I got that covered," I retorted as Carl looked to Rick waiting for his response.

"Well Bonnie, I'm Rick Grimes and I actually have a few questions I need to ask you. I can clearly see you don't need protecting, you can look after Carl for me though, boy's only fourteen," he stated as Carl scoffed.

"You literally just said, I was a man like five minutes ago when we were talking," Carl interrupted.

"Let's face it, Carl. I'm just too amazing, you'll want my protection trust me. Anyways, questions. What about?" I asked Rick as we took our seats on the couch and I pulled out some cans of food for breakfast along with water bottles.

"Three questions, simple answers. How many walkers have you killed?" He asked first and I just busted out laughing.

"You honestly expect me to remember an amount over three years, I don't know about a thousand, maybe more. I try to kill as many as I can, if that's what you're asking." I answered him knowing that he was referring to what I called zombies. Over the course of the years people I've met up with have called them all sorts of things.

"How many people have you killed?" He asked me and I felt Carl's eyes on me as I bit my lip. I'm about to be judge mighty hard.

"Three," I responded hoping I wouldn't have to explain myself.

"Why?" He asked and of course that was the third question.

"Do I really gotta tell ya? I mean shit, one was 'cause she was dying. I didn't have a choice, I didn't want her to turn. How could you just let a person sit there and suffer? I had to." I answered getting horrible flashbacks of that bad experience that I really rather not ever talk about with anyone.

"The other two?"

"Two guys that came through the neighborhood. They were middle age white males, looking for any kind of sexual relief. I just so happened to be the first thing with a vagina walking around. Let's just say my knife and gun has never failed to protect me yet. Yeah, I don't regret killing them. The girl, no I wouldn't change a thing other than her being dead and leaving me alone, all alone. Shit sorry, getting depressing and rambling. I'ma shut my mouth right about now," I explained to him as he nodded.

"No you're perfectly fine, thank you for your honesty. I mean you are Daryl's niece, I should have expect the bluntness with some of the answers. You're welcomed to stay with us for as long as you like and hopefully we'll find your uncle for you.

"Sure, and I look after the boy for you. It's the least I can do," I stated as Carl rolled his eyes and I smiled a toothy grin at him. "Oh you, you know you're gonna love having me around." As soon as I said that there was a knock on the door which was incredibly strange, no one lived in this neighborhood at least not for the past year.

Rick got up to look in the peephole and he just smiled turning around to face us. "Carl, it's for you," he announced as Carl looked completely confused as he opened the door and an African American lady was standing at the door.

"Michonne!" He yelled. "I'm so happy to see you." The two of them hugged and Michonne looked like the happiest person in the world to be hugging him again. Carl told me a bit about her during our talk yesterday and she sounded totally badass. The kind of women I aspire to be.

"Who's this?" She asked as Carl let go from the hug and looked to me.

"Bonnie Dixon, pleasure to meet you. Daryl's niece," I introduced herself and she did the same.

With that we got ready for the day with each of us doing our separate things once we had a quick get to know you kind of chat and catch up with Michonne. At the moment, Carl and I were eating breakfast after I got changed into a new pair of clothes for the day.

"Hey, what was that about the girl you had to kill? It's like you actually had a heart for a second," Carl joked and I punched him in the arm.

"Knock it off. Just cause I'm a bit rough around the edges don't mean I can't care for anybody. Carl, if you only knew what that girl meant to me. Geez… I'll tell you about it later, alright. Not a breakfast kind of topic that I'd like to have today," I explained to him and he nodded as he shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

"Sorry…" he mumbled and I just groaned at his response.

"Jesus Carl, you don't have to apologize every time you frick up something. I ain't one to hold grudges alright? You're not gonna piss me off and I'm not leaving you anytime soon so don't think you'll say the wrong thing and upset me. That would take a ton of work and it would have to be a pretty decent of a low blow. If you're going to piss me off, you'll know what you're doing. Got it?"

"Yeah, you know you're completely different than I would expect. It's good though. You're easy to talk to you and you'll tell it how it is. I think we can become good friends."

"And friends is all we'll ever be, understood?"

"Understood? Remember the promise, I don't break promises," he said to me as Michonne was walking in the dining room where we were sitting.

"Good cause neither do I."

"That's good to hear, promises aren't meant to be broken. Best to keep them," Michonne remarked sitting down with us pouring herself some cereal. "I wish we had some soy milk."

"Seriously?" Carl asked sounding disgusted by it.

"Yes, seriously have you ever tried it?" She asked the both of us and I shook my head.

"I was lucky to have the basic milk, none of that fancy soy or special kinds of foods. I've never tried it," I responded realizing I actually have more than I ever had before the world went to shit. My family to say the least was really poor before the apocalypse.

"My best friend in third grade, he was allergic to dairy and everyday he would bring this soy stuff to lunch. I tried it…" Carl told us as I finished eating my breakfast.

"And?" Michonne asked.

"I threw up," Carl laughed as I was getting up to place my bowl on the counter even though we were probably leaving this all behind.

"Yeah, right," Michonne smiled calling bullshit on that.

"Okay, okay, I almost threw up but I was like…" he stated then proceeded to pretend to throw up. What a dork. "It was so gross. I mean literally, I rather have powdered milk than have to drink that stuff again. I would rather have Judith's formula…" he joked until he realized what he was saying. "I'm gonna go finish my book. I only have a few chapters left," he told us as he got up quickly and walked away.

"I got him, don't worry," I told Michonne as I got up following Carl up to the room we slept in last night. He was already sitting on the bed reading his book and only looked up when he heard me shutting the door behind me. "Hey, you okay?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I...I don't know where she is or if she's even alive for all that matter. Odds are that she's dead and it's hopeless to think otherwise," he sighed putting his book down and made room for me on the bed with him.

"Never felt much love for my family so I can't say I know what you're going through. You're going to be okay though, she'll be in a better place with no pain, only sunny days, and no zombies. You have to think that way for the dead or you'll lose it by remembering their suffering. Trust me, I would know," I admitted to him and he looked to me with curiosity. "Guessing you want to know the tragic backstory of my shitty love life by that look on your face."

"Bonnie, I just want to get to know you that's all. Because you and I have to stick together, you understand me. I mean I guess it's an age similarity thing. You can tell me about your history, I mean I'm happy to listen and learn about you. Anything to distract my mind honestly."

"Alright, I guess I'll tell it. I should let you know that this is the real reason why I'll never fall in love again. You know that girl that I mentioned earlier, the one I killed? Welp, I loved her. As much as you can for being a fourteen year old girl. She was sixteen and her name was Alice. Two years back when we were still trying to find a place to go, she got bit by a damn zombie trying to protect me. I wasn't paying attention… I.. should have been dead but no. Shit, sorry Carl," I tried to tell him my story but I started tearing up and then crying. I'm so weak and I didn't even get to get any detail to Carl about that day or about her. Just the thought of her made me want to break down crying.

"Hey, I didn't mean for you to start crying. You don't have to finish. I understand now. I don't blame you for your number one rule," Carl said trying to comfort me as he placed his hand on top of mine.

"I've been alone for so long after her death. Two years all myself, don't you know what that can do to a person?" I asked him breaking down as I started to get up and walk away but he grabbed my wrist.

"Hey don't run away. We're both emotional messes but we're in this together. I'm not going to leave you," he told me as he looked up to me letting go of my wrist slowly. "Everything that happened in this room stays within these walls alright? One we step out we're gonna leave everything behind us. Can we do that?"

"I can if you can," I answered him wiping away my pathetic tears. "That's the last time you'll be seeing an emotional wreck of Bonnie Dixon, got it? I swear if you tell anyone I'll strangle you."

"Right, and you're back to yourself, good. Let's go," he smiled as he held the door open for me before we walked downstairs to take on our first day together.


	5. Chapter 5

Rule #13

The trust no one rule is bullshit, you just have to be careful and find the right people

Rule #14

Never bring up the tragic backstories, just don't

Rule #15

Never blame yourself for your horrible life because of this apocalypse, nobody was prepared for this

"Hey you two want to go on supply run? Bonnie you know this place pretty well, you can lead," Michonne said to us as we walked downstairs together.

"Sure, we can loot any of the houses around here. I've left these houses alone. I figured if I ever couldn't sleep in my house for whatever reason, zombies, people taking over, or something completely random, I'd still have supplies in other houses and wouldn't be shit out of luck. You can pick a house and we can go for it," I explained to her and Carl seemed impressed.

"I see why you're writing that guide. I'd never think to do that," Carl stated and I didn't know if he was trying to make me feel better about myself since what happened minutes ago or if he genuinely meant it.

"I'm hick not an idiot," I responded as Rick came out to talk to Carl and asked when we'd be back. Carl stilled seemed out of it because of Judith and I couldn't blame him. I mean shit, I'm still getting choked up talking about a girl that died two freaking years ago.

When they finished their conversation, we were on our way and we tackled one house at a time. However, Michonne split up from the two of us as she went to the house next to the house we searched.

"You two yell if you need help. I think you can handle yourselves," she told both of us before walking into the other house.

"I'll go first to make sure nothing is lurking inside. I probably would have heard it over the years if something was but you never know," I explained to him as I opened up the door and we walked inside heading towards the kitchen. "You want to get food and I'll look for other essentials?" I asked him and he nodded.

"Sounds good, hopefully they have good stuff in the pantry. I'll meet you outside when I'm done. Be careful okay?" He said to me and the slight concern in his voice was heartwarming to hear.

"Don't worry, I can handle myself just fine. I mean I'm still kicking it now, ain't I?" I joked as I headed upstairs to the bedrooms and it looked like the family that lived here, left before they ever got to turn.

All the clothes were missing and there weren't many pictures or valuables still laying around. Good thing they didn't take all their books with them. Books have literally been the only thing keeping me sane these past few years. Without them, hell, I'd be bored out of mind and probably would have blown my brains out. Anyways, I took all the books I could fit into these bags that I knew I didn't have already. After clearing out the living room, the bedrooms, and dining room, I headed to the bathrooms praying for anything.

With my great luck that I've always seemed to have when it came to supplies, I found toothpaste, floss, medications, vitamins, and that always important period supplies. I wished I had luck when it came to keeping those around me alive cause I'm always shit out luck when it comes to that. At least I've been surviving fine. That has to count for something right?

Once I finished clearing out the bathroom, along with the other rooms I had to clear out, I walked into the kitchen and Carl wasn't in there. He managed to clear the useful and actually edible things in the pantry and with that I headed outside to meet him.

"Got a lot of stuff I hope?" I asked him as he was sitting on the steps of the porch just lost in his thoughts.

"Huh, yeah. I guess. I mean it's not nearly as much as we have in your duffel bag but it's enough," he responded seeming out of it but who could blame him, he's just getting over a death or at least he thinks is a death.

"Come on, looks like Michonne is done as well. Let's do a few more houses and call it a day. These bags can only hold so much and I'm a bit of a pack rat when it comes to taking things. I doubt we'll ever actually need the complete series of Harry Potter but guess what I stored in this bag. That's right Deathly Hallows since that's the only one I don't have," I told him pulling out the book and he just laughed.

"I'm glad you have your priorities straight when it comes to a supply run," he teased as I gave him a slight punch on the arm as he got up.

"Shut up and let's go," I said to him as we met up again with Michonne and she showed the crazy cheese that she found. Carl was in a mood and she was trying her best to cheer him up.

"Dude, bless that you found that. I used to live on that stuff. Good old processed cheese that would probably survive a nuclear fallout. You gotta love it," I remarked as I nudged Carl and got a small smile out of him as he walked looking down at his feet.

"I'll let you have a first go at it Carl," Michonne stated and Carl shook his head.

"I'm fine," he responded as he started walking ahead.

"Well you don't seem fine," she said back to him as he sighed stopping for a second.

"I'm just tired, okay?" He said as he walked ahead of us.

Meanwhile, Michonne cracked open the can of cheese letting a bunch squirt out into her mouth and she nudged Carl trying to get him to laugh at how ridiculous she looked but nothing. He just kept walking as Michonne stopped and looked at me. I just shrugged. I couldn't control the way Carl was acting. I mean clearly my talk didn't help since I was the one that started breaking down in tears. Judith was clearly on his mind and it was bothering him now more than ever as life kept going on.

"I'm sorry, I'm not very good at making boys your age laugh," Michonne said to Carl as we stopped at a house together and she knocked on the door, probably to draw out any zombies lurking about.

"I was laughing… inside," Carl responded to her as Michonne just gave him a look before she returned to knocking on the door.

"Toddlers find me funny, three, four years old," she told him and I had no clue what she meant by that cause you don't see too many kids walking around these days.

"What do you mean by toddlers?" Carl questioned.

"I had a three year old son and he happened to find me extremely funny," she explained to us as she took out her sword and opened the door. Dear god, I want a sword like that. It's freaking perfect. Could you imagine slashing zombies with that? "We need food, batteries, water, in that order," she stated as we put our bags down and I took out my knife that was pretty shitty compared to the sword.

"I'll head upstairs for other essentials. You guys got the basics. If you need me I'll be in the bathrooms, most likely," I told them as I gave a quick salute before heading upstairs. You may think water is the most important thing in the world but trust me. If you don't have someone looking for these other things, it's pointless to even be surviving. Along with that it seemed like Carl had a lot of questions for Michonne that I didn't feel like being nosy listening to her life story since she barely knows or trusts me.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a kid?" I heard Carl asked and my suspicions were right. He didn't know crap about her life.

I took the whole upstairs since they were on food and water duty. There wasn't much upstairs that could be used other than the fourth Game of Thrones book that I didn't have that I had to snag. A couple other things that I found were somewhat useful but why go on a long and boring laundry list of everything I found. I finished with my looting and went to find Carl and Michonne. I searched the house and found them standing in what used to be a little boys room.

"Upstairs is done. Woah, is everything alright here? You look like you've just seen a ghost or something?" I asked Michonne as she was shutting the door behind her.

"Yeah, it's fine," she responded as Carl and I looked to each other both concerned for her.

"There's a baby in there," Carl stated and Michonned quickly retorted.

"It's a dog," you could tell she was lying and I looked over to Carl who was getting choked up a bit. It was clearly about his sister.

"My dad let me name her. Maybe her and Andre are together somewhere," he said as Michonne just smiled at him and I placed my hand on his shoulder for comfort.

"Come on, let's go. It's almost noon. Your dad will start to worry where we are," Michonne said to Carl as we walked out of the room and got our things together.

"Hey, I want to talk to you later, about Alice. It might help you with what you're dealing with," I whispered to Carl grabbing his hand as we walked back to the house Rick was at.

"You know you're breaking your number one rule," Carl remarked as he lifted up our hands entwined with each other.

"If you think is how I show love Carl Grimes, boy, you couldn't be more far from wrong. This. This is comfort, you already mean a lot to me. Seeing you sad doesn't really float my boat. I'd rather see a happy Carl Grimes," I explained to him and a small smile crept up on his face.

"Hey there it is. You with your cute smile. Keep it that Grimes, it's one of your best features," I told him as we were approaching the house Rick was running towards us carrying my duffle bag with him as he whispered for us to start running.

Carl and I let go of each other hands as we ran away from the neighborhood and we found the train tracks which we began to follow.

"What happened?" I asked out of breath as we took a break before we started walking on the tracks.

"A bunch of guys invaded the house but I managed to grab your duffle bag since there's a boat load of stuff in there. How did you carry all this?" He joked as he handed me it and I opened it to find my rifle and journal sitting on top.

"Thank you so much!" I kind of squealed which sounded horrendous and super girly as I gave him a huge hug. "You have no clue how much this means. My journal and my gun are the only things I have that mean the world to me. Oh and my precious DVD and CD players. Bless your soul Rick," I told him getting emotional over my things. I'm so materialistic but who gives a crap. 

"You're welcome Bonnie," he laughed as I let go from the hug recollecting myself as Carl laughed at me.

"I will punch you," I threatened and he continued to laugh. "God, I hate you," I teased as we continue to walk along the tracks.

"Sure you do, you hate my perfect smile and my beautiful eyes. You just hate everything about me don't you?" He whispered to me as we were walking behind Michonne and Rick.

"You're really asking for it Grimes," I told him as we approached a cable car that had a sign across it not too far along the tracks.

 _SANCTUARY FOR ALL COMMUNITY FOR ALL_

 _THOSE WHO ARRIVE SURVIVE_

Below the writing was a map with a place marked Terminus.

"Should we go?" Michonne asked Rick and he nodded.

"Let's go," he replied as we continued to follow the tracks.

"Well here's to a new chapter in our lives, to Terminus," I announced as we walked ahead and I left so many memories behind in that neighborhood that I had claimed long ago.


	6. Chapter 6

Rule #16

As Walt Disney once said, keep moving forward

Rule #17

Act quick, it's better to act on something that might have consequences to have never acted at all

Rule #18

Keep yourself occupied, it helps from going insane in the membrane

"Ready to keep moving? We've got about three more days of walking and now that we're all rested we can keep trekking on," Rick asked us all, as the sun was rising and we had all awakened from a restless sleep.

As Rick was stretching out, I was writing in my journal again adding personal tidbits that no one else knew about. I mean Carl knew about the rules of surviving the apocalypse but this journal has the major events in my life with my feelings stored in there as well. When Alice died you bet all my mushy feelings were in there. I really don't look back on it 'cause just like rule sixteen states, you gotta keep moving forward.

"I'm ready whenever you guys are. This place better be what is says it is or I'm walking back all the way to my old home," I stated as I got up putting my journal away back in my duffle bag that I had to use as a pillow last night. Yeah, books and DVDs aren't as comfy as feathers.

"Let's just hope it's safe. It might be a bit of a fixer upper but it'll have to do," Rick replied to me as Carl and Michonne were getting their stuff together.

"Hey thanks again for getting my bag yesterday, you really don't how much that means to me," I thanked him as we started our long trek again.

"It wasn't a problem, all that food and water in there is gonna save us for sure though. What all do you keep in there that's so heavy?" He asked me as Michonne and Carl lagged behind us as Rick and I carried on our conversation.

"Portable DVD and CD player, plus all the CDs and DVDs to go with it. There's also a bunch of books in there, I mean at least we won't get bored once we reach the sanctuary," I pointed out and he shrugged.

"Can't argue with that. So, you're really Daryl's niece? It's weird cause you're like a carbon copy of him. You talk just like him," he told me just like Carl mentioned two days ago.

"I guess Uncle Daryl is still pretty cool then if he's anything similar to me," I joked being arrogant of myself but hey a little narcissism never hurt anyone. If anything it helps you out by not feeling shit about yourself.

With that our conversation continued while Rick got to know me better and pretty much it was already things that I told Carl but I didn't mind retelling it to him. Entertaining ourselves as we walked was actually really difficult to do after a couple of hours. After I pretty much exhausted the conversation with Rick, I went back talking to Carl who was still lagging behind all of us.

"Come on slowpoke, we don't need you falling behind, now do we?" I teased as he was balancing on the train tracks. His arms were out and he was really trying to keep his balance. "Gee, it would be a shame if someone were to… push you," I said as I gave him a slight push and he fell off the tracks looking pissed off at me.

"You ass," he remarked as he got back on the edge of the track and I did the same.

"Let me show you how the pro does it Grimes," I told him as I stuck out my arms for balance and started walking across the track edge with ease. "See, it's quite easy."

"Is it really?" He asked as he pulled on my extended arm causing me to fall off and step on the actual track as he was laughing.

"Real original. Aren't you proud of yourself? Wipe the smug ass look off your face," I told him as I couldn't help but smiling at him as we both got back on the edges and he reached for my arm again. "Really? We're gonna do this bullshit all day today aren't we?" I questioned him and he shook his head.

"No, trust exercise. Give me your hand and we'll balance together," he stated and I just rolled my eyes.

"Wow, don't tell me this some lame excuse to hold my hand cause that's pretty pathetic of you. I mean come on how much more cliche could we doing that?" I asked as Michonne looked back as Carl grabbed onto my hand.

"Please, if you think hand holding means anything you couldn't be further from wrong," he said jabbing at what I said yesterday when I held his hand for comfort.

"Fine, what the hell," I sighed holding onto his hand as we balanced together with him slowing me down.

"See, you won't cause me to fall and I won't let you fall. If we do we're both going down together," Carl remarked after a couple of minutes of walking.

"Are you so sure about that?" I asked him and he just looked at me to see what was buzzing around in my mind.

"Bonnie, I swear," he started to say as I pushed a little bit towards him while keeping my balance and then letting go of his hand as he lost his balance.

"Long live the king," I laughed as he had to step down from the tracks and I continue to walk further.

"Oh that's it," he said getting up laughing as he charged at me causing me to lose my balance and step off.

"You a asshole," I replied stumbling over my words.

"A asshole?" He cracked up realizing how stupid I sounded.

"Shut up, I mixed up you're an asshole and you asshole. Stop laughing it's not funny!" I yelled at him as I shoved him and we were falling behind.

"Come on lovebirds, get a move on it!" Rick called for us as we ran to catch up to them and Michonne was smiling at us.

"Sorry Bonnie was being a bit of a asshole," Carl bursted out with laughter and Rick and Michonne just looked to us completely confused.

"I'm sorry, bit of redneck haven't you heard? Grammar really isn't a big thing to worry about during the zombie apocalypse," I retorted as Rick just shook his head.

"What are you two talking about?" He asked us as I looked to Carl making him answer the question. I mean it's his father after all.

"It was nothing, don't even worry about it. Let's keep walking. We still got like five hours until night fall," Carl answered him avoiding the question as we kept on moving along.

We continued to walk along the tracks and we came across another map and it showed that we were most likely about two more full days of walking and then some depending on how much ground we actually covered when we were awake. It may take longer since all of us were hurting from the constant walking all day long. I'm praying we get there soon, although I'm still feeling pretty off about this whole situation. A sanctuary for all that is the biggest load of crap I ever heard. There has to be some sort of a catch, maybe that's just my anxiety talking but hey I can't help that.

Finally, we stopped walking for the day and my legs could rest for a couple hours before we were back to walking once again. Can you believe that people would run cross country for fun? God, how aren't they in a constant state of pain?

We laid out our stuff that we could sleep on as Michonne and Rick were secluded from Carl and me. It sucked that I didn't have a pillow to rest my head on and since Carl was around I decided to use him a human pillow.

"You're actually surprisingly comfy, did you know that?" I asked him as I situated myself and looked up at the stars.

"No, I didn't. Why are you laying on me anyways?" He questioned as I could hear his heartbeat which was oddly soothing and calming to listen to.

"Like I said, you are comfy," I told him and I saw him just smiling down at me.

"Alright, I can't argue with that. Goodnight Bonnie Dixon," he sighed accepting his fate for the night.

"Goodnight Carl Grimes, thanks for another spectacular day, even though I totally owned you on balancing on the tracks," I said as I felt him laugh as I soon drifted off to sleep from complete exhaustion from all the walking. This place better be freaking worth it.

I could bore you with our next three days of walking. I really could but would you want that? No, you're here for the juicy good stuff. Ya'll wanna know how to survive the zombie apocalypse. That's why you're reading this journal in the first place. Like always, I've got to keep you updated so a quick summed up version of the past almost three days we spent walking. We were a little off on how long it was going to take us. Well you win some you lose some.

Anyways, Carl and I got to know each other better, haven't told him more about Alice just yet. I figure I'd tell him when he brought it up again, I really didn't feel like crying again anytime soon. We got along, I continue to use him as a pillow. Everything was fine and dandy. Michonne confronted me on whether I had feelings for Carl which I replied with a simple, "Hell no." After that Michonne and I bonded and I realized I wanted her to adopt me. She let me try out her sword and I nearly cried from the beauty of it. She's really chill but she looks like she could kill you in an instant. Now that's a woman. Rick also thought something was going on between Carl and me, which Carl had to explain to both of them my number one rule and then no more questions were asked.

We walked, talked, and walked some more. Nothing too interesting, just witty conversations to keep us from dying of boredom. At night Carl and I finally started to watch Star Wars on my DVD player, starting with Episode 4 and he absolutely loved it. Now on our sixth day of being together, we were currently going to check out traps that we set to get us some actual meat in our systems rather than all this junk food we were trying to survive on.

"You really think this Terminus place is going to be a sanctuary for all? It just feels off. Like why would you advertise that? The neighborhood I was living it was safe and I kept it all for myself," I brought to discussion as we were walking toward the trap Rick set.

"I know what you mean but maybe it's a group of good hearted people. That's hard to be nowadays but who knows. Our luck just might turn around," Carl replied being very optimistic about it.

"How can you be so sure? Doesn't it bother you that you have this blind faith?" I asked him and he shook his head.

"Hey, I had blind faith in you. I mean you did hit me over the head with a frying pan, I had a lot of reasons not to trust you," he pointed out and I felt bad all over again once he brought it up.

"Thanks Grimes, I guess that's a bit reassuring. Sorry about that, I'm so glad that didn't give you a concussion," I apologized as we approached a zombie and Michonne was the first one to take out her sword and kill it with ease. After that we shortly reached the place where Rick placed the trap.

He managed to capture a rabbit which will taste pretty nice once we skin it, and then cook it up. He explained to Carl and Michonne how the trap was set to teach them a few things but I already knew how to do all that. I mean hunting with a gun is all fine and dandy but learning other ways as a kid is just as cool and super resourceful.

"Help! Somebody help!" We heard a man scream out in agony as Carl went running after the voice.

"Carl!" Rick called after him as the rest of us went running after him. "Carl, stop!" Rick ran the fastest catching up to Carl and grabbing a hold of him as he reached the man surrounded by zombies. "We can't help him." He told us as we watched the man get ripped apart but those nasty suckers. It was gruesome and I agreed with Rick there was nothing we could of done without wasting our bullets or putting ourselves in danger. I shouldn't have to say that putting yourself in danger is a big no no in my rule book.

"We have to go," Michonne stated as we ran back out to the train tracks and I grabbed a hold of Carl's hand since I didn't know how shaken up or in shock he was going to be watching that man die. I was completely unfazed by it but then again, I've been known to have a lack of sympathy for people.

The damn zombies were following us from behind and there were a few ahead of us on the tracks. Rick took the liberty to bash them in the skull with his gun and I understood why he was considered the leader of the group. He knew how to handle himself in a dire situation. Michonne helped in as well getting the ones Rick couldn't get to and then we were running again.

We ran off the train track and I was rationing the last of the snacks that I brought with us. Food goes a lot quicker between four people that aren't used to small rations especially Carl. A growing boy gotta eat as they say. I mean I guess I should have brought more food rather than the complete edition of Lord of the Rings but I didn't. Sue me. We'll survive, a little hungry but nothing I didn't go through before.

"Hey look," Carl said as a blue car came into sight on our walk. We all decided to check it out, while Michonne took care of lone walker to the side of the car.

"I mean there's not much but at least it's a more comfy place to sleep for the night. We'll cook up the rabbit and call it a night, the sun's setting anyways," Rick told us as Carl and I cleaned out the back of the car making room to actually sleep tonight.

With that we set up camp and by the time we had the rabbit cooked and eaten it was already night time. So Carl and I called it a night hopping in the back of the car together while Michonne and Rick kept watch for us and then we'd switch shifts, which I didn't mind.

"Hey, you've been amazing these past few days Carl Grimes, I hope you know that," I told him as we took a half of the back of the car for ourselves.

"I am pretty amazing," he said trying to mock what I've been saying the past few days. We laid together, facing each other, inches away from each others faces.

"Oh shut up, you dork," I laughed and he just looked at me admiringly. "Grimes, I swear if you're about to kiss me I'm gonna kick you where the sun don't shine. You feel really cliche and you know we have a special connection. We can't deny that. Romantic? Nah, not so much. Best friends, hell yeah," I tried to explain to him since the past day or two I've been feeling small urges to kiss his stupid adorable face but I had to push those down and forget them cause if I do that, it'll be a death sentence.

"No, you're just really beautiful, I hope you know that," he told me sincerely.

"Go to bed Grimes," I groaned pushing his face away from me as I turn over on my side away from him. "But thanks, you're not so bad yourself."


	7. Chapter 7

Rule #19

Don't think you're falling in love with a boy named Carl Grimes

Rule #20

Carl Grimes will just be a friend and always just a friend

Rule#21

Bonnie Dixon, if you fall in love with Carl Grimes you're gonna get yourself killed, screw his adorable personality and amazing everything. Three times stating this oughta do it.

I didn't know what was wrong with me, I was super emotional and god, I hated myself right now. If I don't get my period in the next day, I think I might actually be developing feelings for Carl Grimes. Ugh, I'm such a cliche. Damn my hormones. Wipe all that from your mind, cause as I said, Carl and I are just friends, only friends. Those last statements never existed.

Anyways, I was deep in my slumber finally feeling safe with the group to let my guard down and trust Rick to wake us if there were any zombies or walkers, as he called them, around. I really don't put that much trust into anyone that quickly but Rick has clearly proven himself, no doubt about that.

"Bonnie, wake up!" Carl shouted in my ear as he grabbed onto my hand, holding it tight. Being terribly startled, I rocketed up from the back of the car to see two men and might I add ugly, standing at either side of the doors of the car.

"What the hell? What's going on?" I asked frantically searching for my gun or knife. Shit, damn, fuck. This is what you get for feeling safe, I left my things out in the duffle bag where Rick and Michonne were. I'm such an idiot. "Carl, I don't have my gun. I don't have a weapon," my heart racing as I held onto his hand. I looked out the front window of the car to see Rick with a gun to his head. Great, we're all freaking dead, thanks to some shitty raiders or whatever hell the group is calling themselves. As you can see, I'm a little pissed off at myself and life but also terrified since I'm unarmed and the dude eyeing me up outside the car is giving me a real bad vibe.

The man that had the gun to Rick's head was rambling and Carl and I couldn't hear much from the car door until he started counting down from ten. "Carl, I… I don't know. I don't know what to do," I admitted to him completely losing my cool on this whole situation.

"Joe!" I heard a voice faintly call out since all the windows were rolled up and I looked out to see what looked like Daryl? What the actual hell?

"It's Daryl, is he really trying to stop all this?" I asked as the man and him were conversating and one second later Daryl was being attacked by the other guys in the group.

"Screw it," I mumbled forcefully opening the door knocking the guy standing outside my door back a bit. No one hurts family. That's one thing I've learned over the years. I didn't wait this freaking long to see my Uncle again to see him get beaten to death.

"Bonnie, what are you doing?" Carl screamed out as I knew how to hold myself in a fight, I'm a Dixon after all. You gotta know how to fight. I ignored Carl and completely acting on impulse charged at the guy that was standing outside my side of the car.

"You bastards!" I shouted as I knocked the guy down to the ground but I shortly came tumbling after hitting the ground and partially landing on the dude. Before I had the chance to get completely on top of him and start beating the living day lights out of him cause you know I didn't care about the lives of those that attacked me, he grabbed a hold of my arm twisting it behind my back as he got on me putting all his weight on top of me. I did not think this through at all as he pinned my other arm behind my back and I was completely defenseless. Dixon's fight, it's what we do. I never said we were rational or professional fighters or able to overcome a man twice their size.

"Aren't so tough now are you little girl?" He asked pulling my head back by my hair forcing me to look at him as he held down my hands and my feet were completely useless trying to kick him or doing anything. "Oh, the things I'm going to do you," he whispered in my ear before forcefully dropping my head back down as I cried out in pain.

I looked up in front of me to see Rick biting the dude's neck out with his teeth, like a freaking zombie himself. It was totally badass and freaking psychotic. I mean who the hell does that? Everyone around noticed this event take place and they were completely in shock at that sight.

Michonne managed to get a hold of a gun as she started shooting the guys attacking Daryl first. The guy holding me down picked me up wrapping his arm around my neck using me as leverage to not shoot. "Imbecile," I muttered as I quickly bit down on his arm with all my strength and of course he was in shock and pain as he let go of me out of reflex. "Michonne now!" I shouted as she shot him in the head and I quickly wiped whatever parts of that asshole got on my mouth. Disgusting, I know.

Once I quickly recollected myself, I looked up to see Rick running a knife up the man's, that went after Carl, torso. Man, who knew Ranger Rick had all that in him. Gotta give him props 'cause that was bloody beautiful. Rick continued to stab the man well past the means to kill him and you could tell it was 'cause he attacked Carl. Meanwhile Carl was being held by Michonne shaken up by the situation and I still tasted blood in my mouth. It tasted like pure metal and it was disgusting. Why can't I just have one decent night of sleep? Is that too hard to ask for?

"Carl are you okay?" I asked collapsing to my knees next to him as Michonne let go of him and Rick stopped stabbing the already dead man. I didn't realize how much adrenaline I had running in my system and that sudden withdrawal took a ton out of me. Thankfully, I was able to calm myself down quickly.

"I'll be fine," he replied as I completely forgot about Daryl for a minute. Damn Carl clouding my mind.

"Uncle Daryl?" I said getting up as he actually took a good look at me. His face widen as huge grin appeared on his face.

"No way, Bonnie that can't be you, last time I saw you, you weren't even five feet tall. How old are you now?" He asked me and I went in for a hug.

"Sixteen, it's been three years. Dear god, I've missed you so much," I told him hugging him tightly. "I never thought I'd see you again. Thank god you've survived," I whispered. He was the only one that truly care and loved me unconditionally my whole life. I know he's never had kids and he's probably never going to have them but he was the perfect father figure. He's got his quirks and they probably rubbed off on me especially his diction.

"You're okay, it's a freaking miracle. Did you hear about your old man?" He asked me and I nodded with a smile.

"I'm guessing the bastard had it coming?" I asked as the three others witness our reunion. "Thank god I didn't turn out a racist, sexist, homophobic asshole like him. I learned best from you," I told him as I pulled him in for another hug and he hugged back tightly.

"Yeah, you did. You know I don't believe in fate much and you know that but there's no way you traveling with the three of them and meeting up with me was just a coincidence. The world doesn't just work like that," he stated as I looked up to him with curiosity.

"Wait, what were you doing with those assholes? I mean, you weren't one of those freaks were you?" I questioned him and he shook his head as he told me how he met up with them when he got split up from Rick, Carl, and all them. They didn't seem like bad guys to him until of one of them tried to rape me but you know, I'm not gonna fault Daryl for not knowing the psychos he was hanging out with.

"You handled yourself well though. Like a true Dixon, you make me proud to call you my niece, now go get some rest we'll talk in the morning. God knows you need to rest after a screwed up event like that," he told me as he gave me one finally hug and kiss on the forehead like he used to do and it was nice to feel loved again, I've missed this feeling of happiness from comfort from others.

With that, I walked over to Carl who was still being held by Michonne. He looked shaken up and honestly if I hadn't been on my own, a fucked up event like this would have really screwed me up. But I was, and I went through a lot of shit by myself for two years without Alice or anyone for all that matter. Carl, it seemed he always had family around him since the beginning and hasn't experienced anything as traumatic as an attempted rape, along with his dad's actions that would have terrified me if I didn't have such a tolerance for gore. I knew Rick did it out of rage seeing his son hurt but I'm not sure if Carl understood that. To anyone else, it could have appeared that Rick has seriously gone down the psychopathic path.

My adrenaline almost completely lost effect in my body, and I started to feel a massive headache coming on from the freak dropping my head on the road. With the huge drop came my absolute exhaustion worse than the first time I came walking over to Michonne and Carl. The world around me started to feel unreal as I wobbled towards them, feeling completely light headed.

"I don't feel too good, I need to lay down. God, I hope there ain't blood on the brain or a damn concussion, that's the last thing I need," I mumbled feeling completely out of it as I felt a hand grab onto my shoulder and looking over I saw that it was Daryl helping me walk back to the car.

"Hey, you'll be alright kid. Get some rest and see how you're feeling in the morning," he said to me as I managed to crawl up into the back of the car once again and plop down as the exhaustion consumed my whole body.

Moments later, I felt a slight movement of the car and as I wearily lifted my head for the last time of the night before sleep hit me shortly after, Carl was making his way back to his spot as I noticed there was blood covering one of his cheeks and I figured I had some surrounding my mouth and chin, probably looking disgusting.

"He didn't hurt you did he?" I had to asked before my body completely shut down, my last efforts of consciousness were going to be spent making sure Carl was alright.

"No, are you alright?" He asked as I felt him grab onto my hand and I held on tightly. He needed all the comfort he could get.

"My head will be fine, don't worry about me. I've been through more traumatic shit than that. But Carl, I know how you're feeling right now. I was in your situation for the first time and it was horrible. Know this though, you'll be okay. You've got me, your very own Dixon. I'll tell you a story in the morning to help you out. I can't think straight now. I need to rest," I muttered unsure of what words were actually coming out of my mouth everything from that night was blur. The last thing I vaguely remember is pulling Carl closer to me and letting him cuddle up, resting his head on my chest as I fell asleep in an instant, keeping him close to me and I could tell it gave him the same amount of safety it gave me, having someone near. I missed this feeling, it felt good.

The next morning I woke up to Carl out of my comfort and laying on his back, just staring at the top of the car. When I had awakened and stretched out a bit, my head felt extremely heavy to pick up and when I tried I just plopped back down, ready for a hundred years of slumber. That was the first official night, in a long time that I had deep sleep. How I missed that level of safety surrounding me. One thing about this damn apocalypse is that it showed how much we took for granted in our normal lives. I'd give the world for things to go back to normal.

"Hey are you okay?" I asked grabbing a hold of Carl's hand as I turned on my side to face him and still looking at the ceiling above him.

"I guess. Thanks for last night. I really needed that," he stated turning his head to look at me and give me a meek smile. "I can see you really care Bonnie, it's sweet."

"As long as you know it's nothing romantic, then it's true. I do care about you Carl Grimes. You're something special to me and it's only been a week. We're making it through it together," I told him as his smile grew.

"Nothing romantic? I'm calling bullshit on that," Carl remarked raising an eyebrow as I let go of his hand and punched him in the arm.

"Dude, shut up. You ruined that moment for yourself. I don't like you. I'm not gonna risk my life for you, outta of love. That's a horrible way to go out especially since I made it this far," I said sitting up as I was starting to get out of the car. He kept insisting and whatever imbalance of hormones I had in my system was starting to believe his lies about myself. When I look at him, I want to hold him tight and never let him go until I get my senses back and realize how stupid my teenage girl inside of me is being.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I was just joking around. How's your head?" He asked as he grabbed onto my hand and I just smiled seeing him getting worried that he upset me.

"It's fine. Well it'll be fine, I still have a wicked headache right now. I mean I'm better off than the other guy, dead on the side of the road, so I really can't complain. Are you sure you're alright? Like more than just physical. 'Cause when that happened to me, what two years ago I think, I was messed up for weeks. I mean that could have been that I murdered two people out of spite…. Yeah, I'm not helping," I rambled on thinking back on that day I was nearly raped by two men. Man, I was so freaking badass.

"How did you get over it?" He questioned as I noticed that Daryl, Michonne, and Rick were starting to pack up and get a move on to Terminus.

"Well, I told myself it was a horrible thing that happened and I should be thankful that I didn't have to experience that. I managed to convince myself that it was right to kill those bastards because they would have made my life a living hell. At worst there could have been a child out of that and even at the very least, I don't want to know what an experience like that would do to me emotionally. I'm already so shut off from the world, you know that. Anyways, I managed to tell myself that I was strong and I had reason to keep on living. It was hard for me to do being that Alice was gone and I was all alone but for you it shouldn't. You have your father, Michonne, and now me," I told him placing my hand on top of his as he smiled at me. "I know you're strong enough to get over this. You're a Grimes and let me just say Ranger Rick knows how to handle himself."

"Thanks Bonnie, I'll try and take your advice. Even though I'm nowhere near as strong as you, having you by my side will help. So thank you, really," he stated as we got up out of the car and got our things together.

I grabbed my duffle bag and took out my gun, ready for anything honestly after last night. Not having my gun for the first time in actual danger scared the living shit out of me. Without the advantage of my gun, I have slim chances of making it out on my own. I didn't need my knife with my gun in hand and I decided to pass it off to Carl for the day.

"What's this for?" He questioned as I held out my knife to him for him to take.

"My knife, I trust you with it and I've got old faithful right here," I motioned lifting up my rifle before allowing it to rest on my back for the walk over my duffel bag. I had a lot of shit, but I needed it all.

"Thanks Bonnie, now let's get going. We still have a long ways to go," he said as the other three were ready to start walking and we followed behind a few paces away from them as Carl and I tried our best to cheer each other up and get over the horrific night.

It was hard to keep yourself entertained, so it resulted in us go back to our old ways, pushing each other on the train tracks but as time went on, there was less pushing and more of his trust exercise he came up with. It was nice, even though I didn't appreciate all these other mushy gushy and butterfly feelings in my stomach when I looked at Carl. I couldn't honestly be falling for him in less than two weeks. I'm not that weak. Ugh. I'm a Dixon for Christ sake. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I decided it was best to ignore him for a while until I was able to repress these childish feelings for him and with that I talked with Daryl. Carl would easily understand that I needed time to catch up with my uncle. Too bad, as I began to start a conversation with him, Carl interjected with questions.

"Bonnie, I don't understand. How did you get left by yourself?" Carl questioned and looking at Daryl, I could easily read that he was thinking the same thing.

"What happened? I went back lookin' for you and your mother after I found Merle and you already up and left."

"Well Merle just up and left a week before things went to shit. He always did that but this was the one time we actually needed him. I guess when things did go to hell, he found you before he even thought of coming back to mom and me. When the neighbors started turning, mom and I decided to get the hell out of there. We went up state and all around us everything was destroyed. There were thousand of those damn zombies surrounding everyone still living. Mom died trying to save me, thirteen years old, she sacrifice herself so I could run to safety and live on. Part of me thinks she wanted to die the whole time, and just make me think she wanted to protect me at all costs but in all actuality just end it all so she wouldn't have to worry anymore about her life or mine. Can I blame her? Hell no, more times than not I've thought of killing myself. I've never actually attempted it, I'm too afraid of dying. Let's be honest, there's no God. How could a god allow something like this to happen?" I opened up to them and they both understand my pessimism for religion. Religion and the south, ah yes my two favorite things. Don't forget about white supremacist, can't forget people like my father. I'm glad none of that seems to exist anymore in the apocalypse. It's just about staying alive now.

"I want you both to know this now. If I get bit, if I get sick, if I'm dying, I want either one of you to put me down. Don't let me turn into one of them, but you're the only two I trust. I'm hoping to God that doesn't happen but who knows in this fuck up world, anything could happen and something tells me Murphy's Law is gonna apply to our lives. Can you promise me this?" I asked them knowing that I was going to put all my faith into Carl whether I liked it or not. I knew that boy was going to become my other half even though that terrified me that I thought I was falling for him.

"Of course, but you're a Dixon. You're not going down that ease," Daryl stated giving me a pat on the head as we continued to walk and I gave him a small smile knowing he was doing his best to lighten the mood around me. He was always the fun and caring Uncle that no one else saw except me.

"I promise, Bonnie." Carl declared and he held on my hand and I let him as Daryl looked down at our hands intertwined and then just looked back up with a smile, not saying a word.

 _Great, Uncle Daryl thinks we're fucking._

Daryl just walked ahead where Michonne and Rick were looking at a Terminus sign on the ground. "We're getting close. Be there before sundown," he announced and thank god because these past couple days of walking has been killing me.

"Now we head through the woods. We don't know who they are," Rick stated and we just followed behind as he walked off the train tracks, making his own path. I let go of Carl's hand and made sure I still had my sniper secured on my back because I knew I'd have to get it out and ready soon.

The rest of the walk was silent, there was too much anxiety about the unknown of Terminus going around that no one could think straight to have a conversation going on. I tried to suppress my hormonal feelings for Carl, that I had a pretty strong feeling that it was period acting up hard core like it always did, by looking at Michonne. Now she was something to admire, god she was flawless.

After about another hour of walking we finally reached a fence and that had to be the border of Terminus. I got my sniper out as everyone else took out their weapon of choice and I'm really jealous of Daryl's crossbow, along with Michonne's sword. They can be totally badass and I'm only useful in the shadows, but I'm always ready to throw a punch in close combat.

We examined the area through the fence that was covered in a sorts of nature but we were able to see through that to find a building with TERMINUS written across it and big black letters. Welp, we're here it's now or never.

"We all spread out, watch for a while, see what we see, and get ready. We all stay close," Rick told us as I was still scoping out the building and he turned his attention to Carl. "You wanna stick with me?" He asked him.

"It's all right," he responded walking off with Michonne leaving me with Rick alone, since Daryl just went on his way like the lone wolf he is.

"Here Bonnie let me take your bag, I'll hid it with some of my stuff is things head south," Rick stated as I handed him bag full of all kinds of shit. I trusted him with him and that was saying a lot. I don't trust anyone with my gun however. She's my baby.

"Are you okay?" I asked casually not wanting to pry on anything especially knowing that he probably looks at me like I'm a kid. We'll jokes on him, I'll be seventeen so, I'm practically an adult.

"I'm fine. Has Carl said anything to you?" He questioned and I shook my head as I took my hands off the fence.

"It's alright. He's just shaken up. It happens to the best of us. Believe me, I know exactly how he's feeling. You just gotta give him time to process all this and move on. I'm gonna scope out though. Don't worry Carl's gonna be fine. He knows how to handle himself or else I would have shot him when we met," I told him and realized the last bit wasn't too comforting but hey, he ate a dude's neck out last night. There's no room for judgement here.

He didn't respond so I decided to walk off and look around the fence. Everything seemed clear to me. Within thirty minutes of so we made a decision to hop the fence and make our way into Terminus. Once we were over, our weapons ready, Daryl and Rick led the way as they bolted into some building and I was the last to enter.

When we entered the building which was basically a warehouse, there was a woman using a radio to broadcast a message about Terminus as Rick spoke up.

"Hello," he stated walking closer and then turning to the others in the room. We all turned to face them Michonne next to me. Our guns were lower but mine was still in my hand ready to fire in moments notice.

A younger man spoke to us once he realized that we snuck into their building, "Well, I bet Albert is on perimeter watch. You here to rob us?" The man asked as he walked closer to us as we all stood in line and faced him.

"No. We wanted to see you before you saw us," Rick responded.

"Makes sense. Usually we do this where the tracks meet. Welcome to Terminus. I'm Gareth. Looks like you've been on the road for a good bit."

"We have. Rick. That's Carl, Daryl, Michonne, and Bonnie," Rick told him as Gareth gave us a small wave.

"You're nervous. I get it. We were all the same way. We came here for sanctuary. Is that what you're here for?"

"Yes."

"Good, you found it. Hey Alex! This isn't as pretty as the front. We've got nothing to hide but the welcome wagon is a whole lot nicer. Alex will take you, ask a few questions. Uh, but first, we need to see everyone's weapons. If you could just lay them down in front of you." Gareth said as Alex stood by his side and everyone looked to Rick on what to do.

"All right," he stated as he started to bend down and place his gun down and I had to place my precious baby on the ground.

"I'm sure you understand."

"Yes, I do."

From there they patted us down and made a comment about how jacked up Daryl looked from last night's events. We were all a mess but hey at least we're still living.

"Just so you, we aren't those kind of people, but we're not stupid either. And you shouldn't be stupid enough to try anything stupid." Oops that's the definition of me. "As long as everyone's clear on that, we shouldn't have any problems. Just solutions. Okay." Gareth told us as Alex handed Michonne her sword and was going to pick up my gun but I got to it first.

"No one touches my baby," I remarked and he just smiled uncomfortable as he went on to hand everyone else their stuff back.

"Follow me," the man said with a smile as we exited the warehouse and Carl and I walk together at the end of the pack. Daryl asked questions about Terminus but I didn't bother to listen. I scoped out the area as they all walked faster than me to a courtyard. Something felt wrong. It felt too perfect. I felt the need to call bullshit on this place.

They walked up to a food stand and everyone continued to talk but Rick was trailing back with me and I could tell he felt the weird vibe too. He looked around at everyone else around us and as the woman was handing Carl a plate, he went up smacked it out of her hand, and put a gun to Alex's head. I didn't know what was going on but I got my gun ready. I trusted Rick and he knew something was wrong.

"Where the hell did you get this watch?" Rick asked as I scope the area for all the people standing around, see who I'd have to shoot first.

"You want answers? You want anything else? You get 'em when you put down the gun." Alex explained to him as I saw snipers on the top of the roof pointing down at Rick and I aimed my gun towards one of them.

"I see your man on the roof with a sniper rifle. How good's his aim? Where'd you get the watch?" He shouted and I had my finger on the trigger ready to take the sniper's head off if I saw he was going to pull the trigger.

"Don't do anything!" Alex screamed to the sniper. "Just put it down! You want to listen to me. There's a lot of us." The sniper put down his gun but no way was I backing down and Rick didn't yell at me. So if things went south, that man on the roof would be the first one to go and boy was I a little bit too excited to pull the trigger.

"Where'd you get the watch?" Rick yelled again as I looked to Carl in a split second to see him ready to fire at some man with a gun.

"I got it off of a dead one. I didn't think he'd need it."

"What about the riot gear, the poncho?" Rick questioned.

"Got the riot gear off a dead cop. Found the poncho on a clothesline," I heard Gareth intervene in the fight and I decided to switch my aim over towards him. He clearly showed to be the leader in this group.

"Gareth, we can wait."

"Shut up, Alex," Gareth remarked as he didn't give a flying fuck that I was ready to shoot him.

"You talk to me," Rick demanded.

"What's there left to say? You don't trust us anymore."

"Gareth please."

"It's okay. It's okay. Rick, what do you want?"

"Where are our people?" He questioned and I wasn't too sure what he meant by our people because I was only really told about Michonne and Daryl when I met Carl. Along with two people named Maggie and Glenn, who he mentioned once. I honestly can't remember what he said about them though.

"You didn't answer the question," he said clenching his fist as it must of been some kind of signal to fire because shortly after that there was gunshots everywhere. I was ready to kill Gareth right on the spot until Rick pulled me out of focus and yelled at me to start running. _Damn so close._ The sniper rifle dude was going crazy with firing and I honestly think he was just trying to round us up and not kill us. I didn't have time to mention that fact to Rick and I just followed in his footsteps blindly.

We continued to run until we heard banging on some kind of compartment and yelling for help. But Rick told us to keep going and we finally entered a room that was filled with candles and felt weirdly seancey.

"What the hell is this place?" Daryl asked as I was completely out of breath. I haven't had to run in such a long time. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"These people, I don't think they're trying to kill us," Michonne stated.

"That's what I was thinking. No sniper is that awful," I remarked as Rick ran to opening but it was closed shut and then we followed Daryl who found another opening. The world felt like it was spinning right now and I was completely out of it.

Once we exited there were gun fires again, still missing us which back up our theory of them not wanting to kill us. Then what the hell could they possible want if not death? We ran outside to the gate and there they were outside the fence. We were completely surrounded and this had to be one hundred percent planned. I looked to Carl who looked like he was on the urge of having a panic attack and I couldn't blame him. I was terrified. I haven't had human conflict in about year, almost two and this was just as shaking as it was to everyone else.

"Drop your weapons, now!" Gareth screamed from the roof top. "Now!" We did as we were told and Carl and I continued to make direct eye contact as he could probably see the worry in my face. "Ringleader, go to your left. The train car, go. You do what we say, the boy and the girl go with you. Anything else, they die and you end up in there anyway." Rick did as told and started walking to the train car. "Now the archer. Now the samurai," he said leaving Carl and I by ourselves and I had a feeling he'd call me next and Carl would be alone. God, please don't let them pull any kind of bullshit with him defenseless. "Now the sniper," he announced and great my predictions were right. As I began walking he yelled at Rick who was by the train car. "Stand at the door, ringleader, archer, samurai, sniper, in that order."

"My son!" Rick yelled at him. Please, please don't hurt him.

"Go, kid." Gareth finally said and a wave of slight relief came over me.

"Ringleader, open the door and go in."

"I'll go in with him," Rick shouted back as Carl made his way over to us.

"Don't make us kill him now."

With that Rick opened the door slowly and step inside, then Daryl, then Michonne, then me. By the time I was stepping in Carl was nearly to the stairs. As soon as he stepped in, the doors shut behind him and I hugged him.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I could barely see his face it was so dark in there. There were just a few cracks of light shining through.

"I'm fine," he told me hugging me back as he let go and went to his father.

"Rick?" A voice called out from the other side of the car and about six or seven people came out from the shadows.

"You're here," Rick said as more emerged and I could tell from the look on Rick's face he's never seen some of these people.

"They're our friends. They helped save us," a girl stated who I'm guessing Rick knew.

"Yeah, now they're friends of ours," Daryl spoke up.

"For however long that'll be," a man with a deep brash voice commented.

"No." Rick said. "They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out…"

"Find out what?" The same man asked.

"They're fucking with the wrong people."


	8. Chapter 8

Rule #22

Periods will make you horny, ignore them, unless you want to die

Rule #23

Army dudes are always a good friend to have in the apocalypse

Rule #24

Terminus Bad.

Who knows how long we were in that stupid train car. It felt like a century. I was introduced to Maggie and Glenn Rhee, who I found out were married, then there was Abraham Ford, army guy, he seemed like we'd get along, just from him talking for a short time, he's a got weird diction and you gotta give him props for that. Rosita Espinosa, also known as a fucking hottie. I mean damn, sign me the hell up. She was almost as flawless as Michonne. Bob Stookey, Tara Chambler, Sasha Williams, and Eugene Porter. That was everyone and I only got to talk to Abraham and Maggie with all the time we spent in there because after them, I went back talking to Carl.

" _You said you're only sixteen? Geez, and you we're living on your own all these years?" Abraham questioned and I nodded. "Well I'll be damned, that's pretty impressive."_

" _So you're a Dixon? Merle's daughter? My husband had to deal with him more than me," Maggie told me and I could tell from her expressions she was not fond of the bastard._

" _It's alright. I hated the racist piece of shit. I'm so glad I know I didn't turn out like him. If anything I'd say I most like Daryl. Hick till the day we die but I know for Daryl, he's actually got a heart of gold. I ain't one to talk highly of myself though, hopefully you see me in a nice light." I told her and she told me that I could come to her with any problems, cause we girls have to stick together. I really appreciated that and she seemed so sweet._

"You okay?" I questioned sitting down next to Carl with my back resting against the wall and my knees pulled up to my chest.

"No, I'm scared. I'm glad you're fitting in already. Even with the newer people I've never talk to before. You're the only one I feel comfortable opening up to," he whispered as he rested his head on my shoulder as his hat rested in his lap.

"It's alright. I'm probably more scared than you, I'm just distracting myself from the situation. It's what I do. Dixon's never admit to the crowd how they're weak. Trust me, I'm trembling on the inside with fear. But I can't let the Terminus people know that, that's what the want. Fear is the best weapon they've got against us right now," I told him as I held his hand and stroked it as we continue to talk about how Abraham was talking about heading up to DC.

"You think there's actually going to be something there?" He asked looking up at me.

"Eh, I'm doubtful but at least it's a goal and we don't have anything else to look forward to. We just need to get out of this mess first," I sighed as everyone was making plans on making weapons out of the stuff in the train car. I honestly thought it was useless but I did what the majority did anyways.

We worked on that for who knows how long, and we waited until someone came our way. I sure hope to hell my shiv works on these bastards. "All right, got four of them pricks coming our way," Daryl announced.

"Ya'll know what to do. Go for their eyes first, then their throats," Rick told us as we all got up, people with weapons in the front of the back ready to strike.

"Put your backs to the walls on either side of the car now!" A man yelled from outside of the train car as there was rumbling on the roof and then the door to the roof opened. Down came a can of something and we all knew it what it was when it started leaking gas.

"Move!" Abraham shouted as he pushed most of us out of the way but I was practically blind. I couldn't see my hand in front of me and it was impossible to breath.

"Carl…" I croaked out hopping he'd be somewhere near me but I remember a whacked to the head before I had the chance to find him and that was it.

I awoke to a pounding headache and the sound of saws going on my vision still blurred. I was being dragged and when I went to move I found out that I was bound at the wrists and by the ankles. Breathing didn't come easy either as I soon realized I was gagged with a cloth shoved into my mouth. I was forcefully shoved against a metal tub and then all my emotions came flooding in. Oh shit, not like this. Not like fucking this. I don't know what they have planned but it's not good. The sounds of saws and the smell of burning flesh made me want to hurl and I knew that wasn't an option. I was placed next to Rick with Daryl on my other side. On the other side of Rick was Bob and on Daryl's side was Glenn and other prisoners that weren't part of our group.

The sound of knives being sharpened amplified the room as they walked over towards Glenn's side of the tub where we didn't know who that was on the end. There were two guys wearing white and one of them began by smacking a man over the head with a bat and then other finished him off by slicing his neck and letting the blood drain into the tub.

 _Fuck this. I'm gonna die. I'm going to have to watch Daryl die. I can't. No. No! NO!_

They moved onto the next one doing the same thing and all I could think about was how stupid I was for ever decision I have made up until this point. If I would have never met Carl Grimes, I would have probably been raped and killed by the group Daryl was with but that honestly had to better than my fate now. Then the third guy and blood oozed down towards us. That's when ultimate panic set in, my mind finally acknowledging how hard my heart was pumping as I began to hyperventilate which was impossible to do being gagged.

 _Please God. Please._

Tears rolled down my face as I struggled to break free but it was useless. I was dead that was it. Three years was all I was going to make it. Love didn't even get me killed. Sixteen years is not godman long enough.

"Hey guys, what were your shot counts?" Gareth questioned coming in completely ignoring everyone else expect the men winding up the bat again.

"Thirty-eight," the one man responded as he whacked the fourth person in line. Next was Glenn, Daryl, and then me. I looked over seeing that Glenn was next as he completely tensed up as the bat was winded up.

"Hey, your shot count?" Gareth asked again.

"Crap man, I'm sorry. It was my first round up," the man with the knife responded as snot began dripping from my nose as I shook in complete fear. Even having Daryl by myself didn't help anything. He and I avoided eye contact completely and I knew he couldn't bear to see me in ultimate fear.

"After you're done here, go back to your point and count the shells. Kaylee won't be counting them until tomorrow," Gareth told him while he wrote something in his book.

"Hey. Hey let me talk to you," Bob muffled through the cloth as Gareth ignored him. "Let me talk to you for a minute," he did his best to shout as Gareth told the cloth out of his mouth.

"What?" He asked annoyed.

"Don't do this. We can fix this," Bob pleaded and even my emotional ass knew that was pointless.

"No you can't," Gareth simply stated.

"You don't have to do this. We told you there's a way out of all this. You just have to take a chance. We have a man who knows how to stop it. He has a cure. We just have to get him to Washington. You don't have to do this, man. We can put the world back to how it was," Bob tried to explain talking about Eugene and his plan that I wasn't a hundred percent sure of but anything would be better than this right now.

"Can't go back, Bob."

"We can! You don't have to do this," Bob pleaded as Gareth just sighed putting his cloth back into his mouth. He then went over to Rick and bent down to him taking out the cloth as they both stared each other down and I tried to manage my crying but it was useless.

"We saw you go into the woods with a bag and come out without it. Had to pull my spotters back before we could go look for it. What was in it?" He questioned Rick as Daryl and I just looked to him, Daryl in utter disgust. "You hid it right? In case things went bad? Smart. Still, we'll find it. But it's too dangerous to go out there right now." After finishing his statement he grabbed onto the back of my neck pulling me forward as he placed a blade on the surface of my neck. The tears rolled heavier as I cried out for someone to do something but it was useless. Daryl also made mumbling nonsense noise that wouldn't make a difference. I was going to die. Not by a zombie but by an entitled white psychopathic man.

"What was in it?" He questioned Rick again. "I'm curious and it was big bag. You really gonna let me do this? I don't care that she's a child, doesn't matter to me."

"Well, let me take you out there. I'll show you."

"Not gonna happen, this might," he threatened moving it from my neck to my left eye and just the thought of that kind of pain caused me to cry out louder.

"There's guns in it. AK-47, .44 Magnum, automatic weapons, night scope. There's a compound bow and a machete with a red handle. That's what I'm gonna use to kill you," he threatened back as Gareth let go of me chuckled and place the cloth back in Rick's mouth.

"Thanks. You have two hours to get them on the driers. I'm gonna go back to public face. Now's the time we can get messy but we need to dial it all in by sundown," Gareth told his men and my breathing managed to get heavier as that was possible with how bad it already was now.

As we heard gunshots from outside the man winded up his bat again ready to strike Glenn but after a second one he stop and pulled back. A moment later there was a huge rumbled that had to be an explosion that knocked everyone to the ground. I looked over to Rick who was struggling tremendously for some reason as Gareth went to take care of business.

"You stay here," he told the two guys.

"Gareth, these guys aren't going anywhere," one of the men tried to reason.

"Stay here until I know what's happening!" Gareth screamed at him which somehow brought a moment of joy into my heart seeing him freak out like this. I was still terrified other than that as I struggled to sit up straight.

"So we just sit here?" One of guys asked the other.

"Got a job to do," the other responded. About a minute went by until they started freaking out and I just looked to Daryl completely broken and drained of life and I could tell Daryl could see that on my face.

"You there, Gareth?"

"He's busy."

"You smell the smoke? You hear the shots? He could be dead. The hell we doing here? The whole place could be going up."

"You went on one roundup and you blew protocol," the two argued and I saw Rick breaking free. "We don't deal with security. That ain't our job. This is. Hey, look at me."

"What?" The man responded turning around to see Rick jabbing a shiv right into his friend's neck. He quickly went after the other one going full force and killing him quickly. Then he rushed over to us, untying Glenn first and then me as Glenn untied Daryl.

"If they got a problem, we got a chance," Rick said once he untied me and gave me a quick tight hug as he helped me up as well. That meant the world in the moment knowing he'd take a second out of this dangerous situation to show he cared for someone he just met not long ago.

"It's sounded like a bomb," Glenn remarked as Rick was untying Bob lastly.

"What the hell are these people?" Bob questioned as I struggled to walk forward. I was completely out of it and my face was oozing of various types of fluids, it was absolutely disgusting.

 _I'm lucky to be alive. Rick saved me. Bless him. I owe him everything._

"They ain't people," Daryl remarked as Bob was about to stab the person on the table in the brain.

"Don't, let him turn," Rick told him as we exited the room we were in taking whatever knives we came upon. The room we entered was full of human carcasses all strung up like a butchery.

"I'm gonna be sick," I mumbled as Glenn placed a hand on my back as he guided me through the area.

"Cross any of these people, you kill them," Rick ordered us and I'd be ready to murder some sick fucks. "Don't hesitate. They won't." Rick led the way coming to a door with a window as we looked out to see zombie.

 _Goddamn, can we please just handle one issue at a time and not combined them like this cluster fuck._

"If we run, we can get by them. They're distracted."

"We got to let those people out. That's still who we are. It's gotta be," Glenn told Rick and he knew Glenn was right even if it isn't the easiest way out for us.

With that we ran out, killing the damn zombie that gathered around the train car. Glenn then opened the door and out come a savage man yelling about us being the same. The man got up in Rick's personal space and when he shoved the man off of him a zombie attacked him shortly after as we kept on moving but not before Glenn put him out of his misery. He was so pure of heart. I could already tell he deserved the world. While he was doing this though, a wave of zombies walked by as Daryl got him out of the view and behind the car.

"We got to double back," Bob suggested.

"A is that way. We go back, we don't know where we are," Rick explained.

"We don't really have a choice, do we?" Daryl stated as gunshots began firing taking out a mass majority of the zombies behind us and I finally had a moment to think and the first thought that wasn't a state of panic was about Carl. I wish he was right by my side, he was the only one other than Daryl that I trusted to help me through shit situations. I don't know why I had this feeling for him but I didn't and I couldn't explain the cause for that.

"Wait here," Rick yelled as he went running off and seeing that a zombie was following him Daryl followed him to save his life. I stayed back with Glenn and Bob and I tried wiping all the crusty and wet shit on off my face.

"You're gonna be okay kid," Glenn told me patting me on the back as I was hunched over trying to catch my breath.

In a moments notice, Rick was back handing me a gun and ready to be on the run again. "We're going to have to double back." With that we ran at full force with Rick leading the way until we reached the train car everyone was located in. I rushed past Rick opening the train car as they fought off zombies.

"Everybody over the fence! Let's fucking go!" I screamed and I immediately made eye contact with Carl. Then, without even thinking of everything that was at stake, I pushed past the people exiting, ran to over to Carl jumping into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck, and kissing him like I'd never kiss again.


End file.
